"Heard on the Wind"

Proof that Alaskans are not alone when it comes to being electronically challenged.
A customer approached a store clerk, showed her a DVD, and asked, “Is this reel-to-reel?”

If it jingles it must be money...
A man walked into a store and asked if they accepted Euros, the new European Union currency.
When directed to the bank to exchange them, he left miffed.
The clerk, feeling a need to soothe his hurt feelings, said as he approached the door, “Sir, I don’t think anyone in the U.S. accepts Euros.”

Please look at a map.
A woman came into the visitor center and asked if Skagway was connected to Sitka by a road.
“No, most islands in Southeast aren’t connected to the mainland by roads,” she was told.
“Sitka is an island?!” exclaimed the woman.
“Yes, Baranof Island,” was the reply.
“Does that mean it has water on all sides?” asked the woman.

Santa will put coal in your stocking if you ask this...
Another woman asked, What country would you come to if you go north of Canada?”

This is cruel.
Lately, a tour guide said he’s taken to telling his passengers that the Goat Lake pipe is in fact our sewage treatment system.
“We pump the raw sewage from the cruise ships up to the top of waterfall, and by the time it gets to the bottom, it’s clean enough to drink. If you want to step outside the bus, you can smell it...”
Then he tells them he was only kidding.

What is this person thinking?
A local woman getting her mail was stopped by a visitor and asked:
“Do you live here?”
“Yes,” the local replied.
“You live in the post office?”

Do they coast into town?
On a recent tour to the summit, a tour driver was amazed by what he said had to be the stupidest question of the season. A very unenlightened Texan inquired how do they stop the train.
Thinking the question was not as obvious as it appeared, the driver hesitated briefly to think about what he was really asking.
“Well, with brakes, sir,” was the reply.
“Really, how do they stop the train?” the Texan said.

If anyone understands this please let us know...
Asked of a S.M.A.R.T. bus driver: “Do you have refrigerators?”
While the rest of the bus was giggling, the driver replied, “We can order them off my satellite dish.”

Real car – who needs one? Especially to drive to Whitehorse in the winter.
A visitor viewing a parked car said: “Somebody actually has a real car – other than a pick up here!”

Maybe a tour guide in Juneau caused this misunderstanding.
A tour operator, knowing visitors tend to be quite interested, pointed out the stream with spawning salmon to her two passengers. She is a little surprised when they barely glance at the stream.
At this point, one passenger explains, “Those salmon have grown a hook on their nose, which means they’re poisonous. You can’t eat them anyway.”

Fishy thinking.
A woman looking at Pullen Creek asks, “Are those real fish?”
Another woman asked at the Gold Rush Cemetery: “Are there real people buried here or just railroad guys?”
Up at Moore Bridge, a tour was looking at the mountain goats on the hillside, when a man asked: “How do they get up there?”
“They live there,” was the answer.
Looking at the A.B. Hall, a visitor asked: What kind of tusks are on that building?”

And finally, a question we all ask ourselves at least once a summer:
“What human compulsion causes people to think that if they ask you the same question several times that the answer will change?”

The season’s winding down, but the wind is blowing harder than ever. Keep ‘em coming for one more issue.Email skagnews@aptalaska.net, fax 983-2356, or drop your gem off at the News Depot.