Labor Day Termination Dust - A fishing boat scoots across the mouth of the Skagway River under a dusted Parson’s Peak. Jeff Brady
A woman was told by a train agent three times how to get to the end of the dock. When she finally wandered very slowly down to the end, she weaved over to the tour shack. There, she asked one of tour sellers where the shuttle bus was, and how much it cost.
“It’s right behind you ma’am, and it’s two dollars to ride into town,” he said.
She looked at him, and asked again, “Where’s the bus?”
He told her again, but again she asked, “Where is the bus, and how much?"
A bit frustrated now, the seller repeated the answer, telling her this was the third time he had told her.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “I drink.”
A man walks up to the clerk in the ticketing window at the White Pass rail depot and says, “Do you work here?”
A woman on a SMART bus said she was, “having difficulty breathing at this high altitude.”
A young man, peering into the window at the bookstore, looked at his wife and a friend and said, “Oh, they have a book about you two, Two Old Women.”
“I really hate when they stand in the middle of the road taking pictures or just walking down the street oblivious to vehicular traffic around them,” said one man.
The man with him agreed, as they both walked down the middle of Broadway with a truck and bus behind them.
Two women were walking down the street, and one remarked to the other, “See, they don’t have parking lots, they have bike racks.”
A customer came up and asked, “In your bulk taffy bin, do you have salmonberry flavor in it?”
The employee replied, “No, we sell the salmonberry taffy separate in its own bag.”
“Oh good, because I’m allergic to fish and I just wanted to make sure before I bought from the bulk taffy bin”.
As a people-mover was driving her cart back to the ship on the Railroad Dock’s aft berth, and weaving around tourists, the little old lady sitting next to the driver remarked, “It looks like a damn Wal-Mart parking lot.”
A customer came up and asked if there was anywhere “reasonable” to eat?
The clerk said “Why yes! We have a lot of nice yummy places to eat, such as Fish Co, Smoothie shop, Sweet Tooth.....”
The customer interrupted: “No, I mean like a McDonald’s”
“No Skagway doesn’t have places (franchises) like that.”
“Well they had one in Juneau?”
“Yes, Juneau has different laws there. Each city has it’s own way of running.”
“I just can’t understand it, how can you not have a McDonalds? Where is the closest one?”
“Juneau or Whitehorse. Whitehorse is about a two hour drive, though.”
Her mouth was open wide. She then looked the clerk kind of up and down, as even she did not believe what she had been told, and then snorted and said, “Well... I guess I’ll just have to go try that Red Onion place if I want to eat,” and stammered off.
Well, there are no laws against franchises here, but no modern corporate logos would fit in the Historic District, would they? Skagway is such a unique place, all to its own. One more chance for summer wind in our Sept. 24 issue, then we shut down the chimes for another season. Email the windy one or see the bookstore girls and brighten their day before all the leaves are gone.