-Heard on the Wind-

Sweet cravings
A woman walked into the bookstore and asked, with a straight face, “How many blocks to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts?”

Wrap it with a bow
“This whole town is just one big gift shop.”

Raging raven hormones
A raven flew by a woman, who then asked, “Is that an eagle?” A bystander then added, “It must be an immature eagle.”

Fall never happens
A woman looking at a locally taken, scenic, black and white photograph, asked, “So the leaves change colors here?”

More lake lookers
On the Broadway pier one day, a man noticed all the boats on dry dock and made the following comment: “What are all the boats doing there. There’s no lake around here.”

Help the needy
One day at a local hotel, a clerk took a tally for the wind meter:
- Four people asked how to use a calling card.
- Three asked how to set their alarm clocks.
- Two asked how to turn on their showers.
- One asked how to turn on a light.
- One asked how to use the coffee pot.

AND FINALLY, SOME OF MARIE DRAKE’S “TOURIST TWADDLE” from the archives, courtesy of Bea Lingle:
“Will one bowl f mush make a dog team go?
How much hay can an Eskimo?
Where can we buy a fresh igloo?
How often does a caribou?
Where does a reindeer go when it snows?
Who has to listen to a whale when it blows?
When you’re hunting geese - or gooses
Are you apt to see some meese - or mooses?”

One more chance to pass on some wild wind before the real thing starts blowing from the north. Bring your best gusts to the appreciative News Depot gang, or you may e-mail them to the windy one at skagnews@aptalaska.net - deadline is Sept. 19.