Our summer reporter intern locked herself out of the newsroom and came down to the bookstore to borrow a key for the upstairs door.
“Can I borrow the key?” she asked the clerk. “I locked myself out.”
The clerk obliged, loaning her key (this wasn’t the first time).
A tourist in the store then asked the clerk, “Do all of your houses share the same key?”
A Haines man called to file a “complaint” about Skagway. A friend was getting married and a bachelor party was being organized. So he calls the Red Onion Saloon asking if any of the brothel girls would be willing to come over to Haines and be a stripper for $250. There were no takers. “Your prostitutes aren’t real,” he complained.
At the post office a woman standing at the closed gate looked at the parcel window which listed Saturday hours.
“I can’t believe this post office is only open on Saturdays,” she said, oblivious to the sign that directed people to the counter on weekdays.
A bicyclist who crashed to avoid three tourists that blindly stepped in front of him was heard to tersely state before remounting and riding away... “You people need to watch out for yourselves. This isn’t Disneyland and there’s traffic on these streets.”
On day five of the Cassiar Highway fires, a woman comes into the visitors center and asks if the Cassiar Highway is open yet.
When told no, she comments, “I thought it would be all burned up by now.”
Visitors pass AB Hall on a busy summer day. Jeff Brady
A woman walks into the visitors center and says, “A friend of mine came last month and she was sitting in front of this building and saw people taking pictures and couldn’t figure out what they were taking pictures of. Then she realized it was all wood. So I came in to find out what she didn’t know.”
Another visitor looking at AB Hall says to her husband, “Oh look, that’s just made of wood. I could do that.”
Very seriously, a woman whips up to the counter and asks,” I’m assuming I can mail a package from Ketchikan?” She is assured that is so.
A couple comes in to a store and asks (for whatever reason) one of the sales associates, “Do you know Tom Cochran?”
She replied, “No we don’t sell that here, sorry.”
A local man parked in front of the hardware store with his dog in the back of his truck. A visitor asked, “Why do all the guys in Alaska have dogs in the back of their truck?”
The local replied, “Because the women insist on riding in the front.”
At the overlook, a bus passenger was admiring the costumes worn by the streetcar drivers. Curious, she asked one of them, “Do you have any male drivers?”
And the streetcar driver replied, “No everybody goes right to the post office.”
A visitor walks in and says, “Wow, the sun’s coming out.”
A tour driver (who obviously has had better days) replies, “No, the clouds are just all f——ed up.”
Hey now.... Yes indeed, sometimes the wind blows both ways, especially in the heat or rain of August when our patience and attention spands are near their ends. But the windy one is a mild-mannered, year-rounder. He needs to store up on wind to last the winter. E-mail him at email@example.com