SALMON BUTCHERY — Two pesky seals end the lives of local pink salmon by ripping into their spines and bellies near the Broadway Dock. The seals could not be reached for comment. - Mark Abadi

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 A SMART bus driving into town from the Railroad Dock is stopped at the tracks by a train. While waiting for the train to pass, two ladies sitting behind the shuttle driver are talking.
One asks, “I wonder what that is,” pointing to the fish weir.
The second woman, without pause, says “Oh, that's a safety net so you can go swimming and not worry about the bears getting you.”

As a passenger walks by the Mercantile, he comments, "Oh look. A Starbucks that serves diamonds!"

A rather dolled-up woman sashayed into the bookstore and asked, “Do you have a book on cosmetics? When told, no, she responded, “Well, why not?”

A visitor asked for the St. John Hostel. She was directed to a Skagway hostel. Another who asked for a Crossroads Hotel was directed to the nearest bar. Another asked directions to the Cork Room or the Unicorn Room, and she was directed to the hotel restaurant.

A man came in to ask about his ancestor who may have died in Skagway. The visitor center staff said they would be happy to try to find any information. However, when asked for the goldrusher's name, the man said he wasn't sure, he would have to go look it up.

Told the Fjord Express was sold out for the next couple of days, a visitor complained, “How do they get any business if they’re always full?”

A father and son overheard on the Broadway Dock appeared to be in a Disney Wonder time warp on a rainy Friday:
“What time does the film start tonight?”
“8.”
“And what time does everybody have to be back on the ship?”
“7:30.”
“So every single person on this ship will be back at 7:30, how many people do you think will be in line to watch the movie at 8?”
“Everybody.”
“Well, it is 1:30 now, everybody is in town and we’ll get right in!”

A visitor on the boardwalk was watching the barker from the Days of ’98 Show and said, “He must be preaching his religion down there.”

A visitor observing the salmon in Pullen Creek asked, “Why are you letting all the fish die?”

Exasperated lady tourist: “Does it EVER stop raining in this town?”
Sales Clerk: “Yes ma'am...just as soon as it starts snowing!”

Not bad windsniffers. There are just two chances left in Sept. before we wind down. Keep ‘em coming!